Stop looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security or love-- you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer." - Eckhart Tolle
After working with wellness advocate, Jen Nobo, I quickly was presented with a term called “primary food”. I first thought this meant things like vegetables, meat, and fruits- you know, the things I eat frequently or “should” be eating frequently. However, I was far off, and if you’ve never heard of this term before, you probably are off too.
Primary foods consist of four main pieces: movement, sleep, relationships, and self-fulfillment. Without these four, the nutrition and diet will be hard to completely focus on and to get into a routine of foods that nourish your body, that you love, and that you can eat consistently.
To gain more information about the education and purpose of primary food, visit Jen’s post on primary food here.
I have been an all-or-nothing thinker for a lot of my life, and while I’m working on changing this thought process, sometimes I still fall into old patterns. Movement, for me, has primarily been exercise. I have tried everything from boxing to barre to running a marathon to weightlifting as an elementary student to completely sedentary. Most recently, I have made movement a priority by attending classes at my gym and incorporating running back into my routine.
It was all mental--funny how that it is when we're talking about movement. She set her alarm for 5:15am the next morning even though she had difficulty falling asleep. It seemed like minutes when the alarm went off, and she slowly began talking herself out of going. Thoughts like "I can do it tomorrow.", "I don't really need to go", "My body is too tired to do this right now" consumed her head within a few seconds of waking up, knowing that her only task at that moment was to get out of bed. Once out of bed, she was fine. It was just that initial moment.
So she told herself to "Stop!", literally rolled out, put her feet on the floor, contacts in and did it.
Afterward, she felt accomplished and consciously set her intentions for the day, simply by making a decision in the morning. She made her self and her health a priority, and THAT is what empowerment is.
*Change your thoughts. This is where all our behavior stems from. If you want to change a behavior, such as adding movement in whatever form to your schedule, tell yourself that you have plenty of time to do so. Tell yourself that you are giving your body what it needs. Tell yourself you love the activity you're about to do and are setting that intentional time for yourself. In doing this, you are changing your emotions regarding the action and thus able to act on your goal!
Many of my clients have struggled tremendously in the area of sleep. Problems with always feeling tired despite the number of hours logged, difficulty falling asleep and more difficulty staying asleep are all common themes among disordered sleep patterns.
I've personally struggled with insomnia since my undergrad years. I would bounce from having insomnia to hypersomnia - not sleeping at all to sleeping too much. When I would wake up in the middle of the night, I couldn't go back to sleep. If you've struggled with these, you know the misery of counting how many hours you could sleep if you fell asleep NOW and counting down from 100. I have personally been on medication to sleep, which helped randomly. However, what MOST helped get into a sleep pattern was the following:
We know that sleep impacts every part of our life. No wonder it's a primary food. Give yourself a break and actively try to create these patterns. Patterns help your brain know what to expect. And it is wonderful when it EXPECTS to sleep and follows directions.
What stems many of my clients' anxiety or depression are the relationships or lack of relationships in their lives. Loneliness and not being connected to others can diminish one's health rapidly. The relationship we have with others is what often keeps us going when times are hard. Having friends, being invited places, feeling like someone knows you and accepts you for who you are is necessary in order to lead fulfilling lives.
On the other end, the relationship you have with yourself is equally as important. I believe, that this relationship is stemmed from the thoughts in your head. What we feed our brain impacts what we will feed our body. If we tell ourselves we are worthless and a piece of crap, we will likely not take care of ourself, put ourself last, or simply just stay in bed. We begin to believe these thoughts. However, what we tell ourselves ISN'T ALWAYS TRUE! Just because I tell myself the sky is green does not make it true. When you tell yourself how horrible you are, ask yourself what the evidence is that supports that and then reframe that thought into something more HEALTHY like "I would feel healthier if I did _______ or _________."
Feed yourself with podcasts, songs, or thoughts that will lift you up. There is already enough negative surrounding us and on the media, that we don't need to actively look for it to see it. The positive, however, requires actively seeking and looking for the good.
We were taught that a goal in life should be to be happy. So we did everything we thought we were supposed to do and told that would get us there and found that we, in fact, were not happy. What we should have been told that life is about fulfillment. Feeling fulfilled isn't a destination we reach: it's a state of being that we can experience each day.
Fulfillment looks like feeling whole. Fulfillment looks like looking around you, smiling and feeling like you have done what you could do that day. Fulfillment looks like looking over on the opposite side of the couch and see the person you love. Fulfillment looks like your life. If you're struggling with fulfillment, read more blogs and the Services page to see what some helpful options may be!
To make sure you don't miss a beat and get weekly newsletters (no spam!) sent directly to your inbox, an invitation to an event to wrap up the series, and chances to win free goodies, sign up for the KC Empower Series today! Make sure you are following Jen Nobo and myself on Instagram!
Be good to yourself.
I remember coming home from school as a high school student, and my parents would ask me a series of questions: "How was school?", "How're your grades?", "How was practice?"
Some days it was a combination of the questions, others it was just one. I remember these mainly because I remember how I replied 80% of the time: "Fine". I fell into responding to questions, engaging with people, and contributing to dialogue with words or phrases including "fine".
"How are you?
This exchange in conversation used to be the norm. No one actually talked about how crappy their day was or was authentic in engaging in these conversations. Why? I can speculate numerous reasons, with a few being that people think it's socially unacceptable to talk about how they are really doing, that they'd be looked at differently if they didn't "have it all together", or because they didn't feel safe to be honest in that interaction.
We are living in a world of "I'm fine" robots-responses to many questions, and now, fast forwarding to present-day, it's changed.
"I'm fine" has now become "Good! Just busy!"
We have seemingly replaced this robot-response with a more productive, over-achieving, and hustling response to the "How've you been?" question.
"Good! Just busy," assumes the position of many things. We often feel like we have to respond with proving that we've been busy so that we're not looked at as lazy. In a world of be more, do more, achieve more, make more, "busy" has become the new expectation. As if we were saying, "Well if you aren't busy, then what are you doing, really?"
Think about the relationships you have and how you respond when people ask how you are or have been. Think about how you respond when someone asks how your day or weekend was. How do you reply? Is it with "It was good! Busy, but good!"
If you do, is there any other way to describe your day or weekend or state of being? Could you reply with answers to what you enjoyed doing, people you saw, or how you actually feel?
And on the receiving end, are you expecting people to say "Busy!" - are you open to actually hearing about how this person is or how their weekend was? Or do you nod and smile, asking no questions or validating remarks to actually engage in the conversation?
As a people, we get to decide how we respond. I challenge you to start being authentic with people. If you say things other than "I'm fine" or "Good, just busy!" you will often find yourself creating and maintaining more wholesome and connected relationships. Taking the time to hear someone, instead of brush them off in a hurried response, can be more intimate and relationship-building than you would think.
If you have article suggestions or topics you would like to learn about, drop a comment or email me! I'm always open to suggestions.
Why don’t I look like that?
Why do I feel so small?
Hiding behind posts of lies.
“Who do you think you are?”
How dare I wear that dress.
I will never just fit in.
Where’s my card to get out of jail?
Women and men are shown cultural and societal norms of ideal body size, the right diets, what and what not to look like, what is popular, what is accepted, and what is idealized from ages of 4-5 years old. By the time we hit kindergarten, we know gender roles. We know “our place” in the world. At least, the world as we know it.
When I grew up, I saw ads on the television and magazines and compared myself to girls I grew up with. Now, however, children are on iPads, computers, and smart phones far earlier than their brains can develop. They not only have the same things as we did growing up, but they have social media and access to essentially any content with one wrong click or tap of a button.
Ideals of what we “should” be or act like flaunt our minds, and even though we can be strong-minded and tell ourselves that there is more to life than being or looking like the people we see who “have it all”, it still soaks a little bit into our brain. If it didn’t, I wouldn’t be needing to write this post, would I?
Men and women everywhere struggle with low self-esteem because they aren’t fitting into these molds. We fall into comparison traps. We starve ourselves. We post filtered images of our life to make it seem like we have it all together. We’re confused about which diet will make us look the best, and if we’re not, we are struggling with knowing what foods to really eat because everywhere we go someone is saying we shouldn’t be eating that.
After talking about some of the real struggles myself and my clients go through as young women and men, I realized that we have a much bigger problem on our hands: if we as young people don’t get ourselves in the healthy mindset, we are impacting generations to come.
KC Empower Series began after Jennifer Nobo and I were chatting about these very struggles. Sometimes we think it’s just us going through the negative thought patterns and the obsessions with doing things RIGHT versus just doing things because they are HEALTHY.
Social media can be filled with trolls, negative comments, naysayers and people who will never have anything good to say; however, it can also be filled with fun, positivity, humor, realism, social solutions, and people empowering people to be the HEALTHIEST version of themselves.
Something that Jen has been teaching me is how to LISTEN to my body. This goes from things as instinctual as your gut feelings in bad situations all the way to if your body is really craving a Reeses or if it’s just thirsty for water--that infections aren’t a coincidence--that they are my body’s way of telling me something is wrong.
From July 15- August 18, our goal is to fill social media with empowerment and that you, as a reader, will participate. As a therapist and life coach, I will be providing you with some common themes among my clients and within myself, will fight stigma, create conversations, and provide reflection questions for you to think through for the week. You’ll get weekly newsletters, social media posts, shout-outs, and raffles gifted to those who participate each week. Finally, we will end the month with an event at Barre 3 on August 18th with a chance to connect, grow and empower each other and with a short surprise guest presentation!
I am so looking forward to doing this month with you! Get ready for some great self-care conversations, tips and techniques, as well as reflection questions to further amplify your understanding of some core components of each Self.
Head on over to Jen’s website to see her reasons why to join in on KC Empower Series and SIGN-UP today to not miss a thing. We promise, one email a week--no more, no less!
Questions? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com
Placing judgment on yourself for being anxious increases the problem. You then go in a negative thought tailspin and have difficulty getting out of it. Remember, these thoughts are just thoughts.
When anxiety paralyzes you
Before I became a therapist, I never knew what to call what I was experiencing. As a teenager, I thought what was going on was normal--that everyone experienced it. I had difficulty sleeping, a constantly running mind, and negative self-talk that made me believe not-so-great things about myself.
Throughout college, I still struggled with it; however, because I was in psychology courses, I now had something to call what I was experiencing and what millions of other people experience on a daily basis: anxiety.
As I sit here trying to write about anxiety, I feel myself getting anxious. I feel it in my heart and in my chest. I feel it in my stomach where I typically will have severe nausea. I feel it in my thoughts, asking me things like “Who do you think you are?” and “You can’t do anything right.” I feel it in my hands, as they begin to tremble while my fingers graze across the keyboard.
Where do you feel anxiety?
Anxiety looks different from person to person but usually has similar characteristics. Anxiety can be a range of symptoms including persistent worry, fear, panic, increased heart rate, difficulty breathing, isolation, panic attacks, chest pain, or nausea. It can lead to many physical medical conditions in addition to psychological pain. Many people with persistent anxiety will argue that the psychological distress is far worse than the physical.
For me, anxiety is perfectionism. It’s a constant worry of things that could go wrong, ways that I am being perceived, or my stomach dropping if I make a simple mistake. It’s something that gets better and then gets worse. It comes in waves. It comes when you least expect it. It comes when things are going well. It comes when things are going poorly. It just comes.
While we can identify triggers and be aware of things that increase our anxiety, it’s even more important to know what to do when these symptoms arise.
What Do I Do?
Noticing the physical response I’m having just simply writing about anxiety is the first step to do something about it. Instead of forcing myself to continue writing and “get it done”, I took a small break after becoming aware of the symptoms to get up, walk around, and grab a drink of water. When I sat back down to write this paragraph, I physically felt more calm and am able to focus and write what I intend to write. Anxiety can paralyze you. It can cause you to avoid daily life tasks, people who are important to you, and makes doing simple things extremely difficult. Below are some things to do when noticing anxiety in yourself and are suggestions. It’s up to you to find the exact recipe that works for your anxiety symptoms!
1. Notice non-judgmentally.
In order to change any behaviors or symptoms, we first have to recognize that there is something to change. To notice when you are anxious, you have to be aware of how your physical body is responding. If you start to get hot, trembly, breathe faster and experience increased heart rate, you could say something like, “I am noticing my breathing get faster and my stomach feel nausea. I must be feeling nervous about something.” Additionally, it is not helpful to place judgment on yourself for feeling this way. These thoughts are something like this:
While these thoughts are the more instinctual thoughts, they are not helpful. Placing judgment on yourself for being anxious increases the problem. You then go in a negative thought tailspin and have difficulty getting out of it. Remember, these thoughts are just thoughts. You first have to notice they are there in order to change them.
2. Be curious.
As mentioned above, being judgmental about the way we are feeling or our anxiety is not helpful. Instead, be curious about the anxiety if you don’t know directly what the trigger was. For example these thoughts could look like this:
anxiety versus beating yourself up about it. Starting your thoughts with “I’m noticing” or “I’m observing that” creates distance between you and your anxious thoughts so that you can take action instead of become paralyzed and stuck in the ruminating cycle.
3. Take action.
In order to change our thoughts, we have to first be aware that they are there, be curious about why and then use coping skills in order to bring your body back to regulated. Once you start noticing your physical body getting escalated, you have to calm this down first. In order to calm our minds, we have to first regulate our bodies. In doing so, you can do anything using your senses. Examples include:
Robin Helget, LMSW, CPT
“Maybe there's more we all could have done, but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time.” ― Veronica Roth, Divergent
Guilt is an emotion that we feel when our behaviors goes against our values. Feeling guilty is a normal and common emotion that many of us feel; however, there are many times when guilt turns unhealthy: when we beat ourselves up for making normal mistakes, for living when someone else passes, or when we say “No” to someone who wanted to hang out. This article will explain the difference between healthy and unhealthy guilt and offer ways to change and control your thinking.
As imperfect humans, we many times find ourselves making mistakes. When this happens, we have thoughts like, “I shouldn’t have done that”, “I need to apologize”, or “(S)he isn’t going to like me anymore after s(he) knows what I did in my past”. Through a therapist’s lens, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a type of therapy that focuses on how your thoughts shape our emotions which then shape our behaviors, explains that these thoughts will then lead to how you feel.
A common and healthy emotion that many of us feel when our behaviors don’t coincide with our values or morals is guilt. The feeling of guilt says “I know I shouldn’t have done that”. This is a normal and common emotion. What would happen if you didn’t have this emotion? You would likely be unaware of how your actions impact others, yourself or the world and have no reason to change your behavior.
Feeling guilty is a normal human response. When we feel guilty, we have the opportunity to change our behavior, make up for the mistake we made, and plan or choose to do differently in the future. However, there are times when feeling guilty can become unhealthy.
Unhealthy guilt stems from feeling guilty about behaviors that don’t necessarily go against your values or beliefs. It means feeling guilty simply by beating yourself up for making a mistake, or for feeling bad for sticking up for yourself, or for putting boundaries where boundaries are needed to be placed.
Many times, people with perfectionistic personalities or behaviors, people-pleasing tendencies, and “heroes” in dysfunctional families can silently suffer from unhealthy guilt. The effects of this can be detrimental and can include any of the following:
Example: Survivor’s Guilt.
Survivor’s guilt is feeling guilty for living when someone else didn’t. Although that may
sound harsh to read, feeling guilt after someone else passes is a normal response to
grief but can often lead to unhealthy emotions and behaviors.
Ways to Overcome Unhealthy Guilt:
Identify the thought.
We can’t change anything without having the awareness that the change needs to happen. To first change a thought, we have to identify what the thought is. Let’s use this example: You have worked 52 hours this week and had plans to meet with friends on Friday night for dinner and drinks out. By the time Friday is here, you are exhausted and aren’t looking forward to expending the energy to a group of people. You then decide to cancel and ask to reschedule the dinner. You have thoughts like “I’m such a horrible friend,” and “I’m so ridiculous”.
Find the evidence for the thought.
Ask yourself, "Why is this thought true?" This exercise should only include factual evidence as to why your thought is true. When looking at the example from above, can you come up with a fact about why "I'm such a horrible friend" is a true statement? If no, move to the next paragraph and ask yourself what the evidence is that thought is not true.
Find the evidence against for the thought.
Still using the example above, finding evidence why this thought isn't true is typically the hardest. It forces yourself to think about the thought from a different lens or perspective. Some facts why "I'm such a horrible friend" isn't true could be the following:
When the negative thoughts keep reoccurring, the first step, again, is to notice that they are there. Once you've gone through the steps above, identify a more helpful thought such as, "I know I'm a good friend because I've spent time with them recently and have been with them through many hard things." Doing this for each negative thought will allow you to see it from a different perspective, even if you don't believe it 100%. There was a time when we were young where we didn't believe every negative thing about us. We believe what we continue to tell ourselves so once you start speaking kindly, you will start to notice a shift in perspective and in the way you see yourself in the eyes of other people,
Use this replacement thought each time you have the guilt-based thought.
Repetition is going to be key, especially for the thoughts that are deep in your core. Catching yourself in negative thought cycles will help relieve guilt by rationalizing the thought and really making yourself think about whether it's your perception or if there are facts backing up your thinking.
Being aware of your thoughts and learning how to change them can prevent the behaviors and symptoms that stem from repetitive unhealthy guilt. Guilt is acknowledging that your behaviors aren't aligning with the way you want to live or what you know is right. With guilt, you are then able to change your behavior and become a better version of yourself, if you choose to. Unhealthy guilt, however, is based on negative perceptions of self and can turn into shame really quickly.
If you struggle with unhealthy guilt or negative thought cycles that prevent you from enjoying things in life, making changes, or moving forward in many areas, seeing a counselor or coach may be a next step.
Robin Helget, LMSW, CPT
There is a unique pain that comes from preparing a place in your heart for a child that never comes. - David Platt
As another Sunday starts the beginning of a new week, many of us were celebrating with loved ones. Today is a celebration for those who have moms, are moms, are soon-to-be moms, grand-moms, and other moms of many types. However, for those other moms, today can be a not-so-gentle reminder that of loss, heartbreak, and longing.
I saw the above picture on Instagram by @bymariandrew and thought it was a great depiction of all types of moms. Imagine finding the love of your life and wanting to start a family, but after months and maybe years of trying, you can’t get pregnant. Maybe you have tried fertility drugs, have spent thousands of money, and are now feeling more distant from this loved one since these methods haven't been working.
Imagine having the nursery done, the baby shower, maternity pictures done, and the excitement of a lifetime. You are rushed to the hospital weeks early in panic mode and have finally been able to leave the hospital. You're being wheeled out in the wheelchair to the car, and you look over to find that another woman right next to you is doing the same--only she has a baby in her hands. Your hands--the hands you thought would be carrying home a child in the upcoming months--are empty as you prematurely gave birth to the baby you were ready for. You think you couldn’t feel much more pain, but months later, you notice its still there as strong as ever.
Imagine looking at a pregnancy test for the first time and seeing “positive” after months of hoping for pregnancy, only to find two weeks later that you are the 1 in 4 women who experience a miscarriage.
Imagine wanting to call your mom on this Sunday, like you’ve done in the last many years, but couldn’t because heaven doesn’t have a phone line. Imagine being 20-something as a new mom but have to Google parenting advice for the hundreds of questions you have after your mom lost her battle to cancer.
If imagining evokes sadness or grief, know that this is a normal response. For any of those mothers in these situations and for those who have lost their mother, this is for you:
You can’t turn back time.
You can’t wish away your days to be with your loved one in Heaven, if you believe in that sort of thing.
You can’t hurt so much that you get to hold your baby or will a pregnancy test to say “positive”.
You can, however, remember that you are just as much of a woman despite these struggles.
You can, however, remember the Mother’s Days you did have with your mom.
You can, however, love on your kids in the physical world and be in the moment with them.
You can, however, remember your mom in a special way on this day.
You can, however, call your mom and apologize.
You can, however, love yourself.
You can, however, love your baby.
You can, however, love your mom.
You can, however, offer yourself some grace on this hard day while still being happy for those celebrating.
To all the moms out there, you are changing the world.
Robin Helget, LMSW, CPT
*If you or someone you know is struggling with any of the above scenarios and many more, know that help is possible.* Call 785-408-7529 for more information and appropriate referrals based on what you need.
Being ourselves means sometimes having to find the courage to stand alone," - Brene Brown
"Why are you leaving? You made a commitment."
"You should apologize to him," said her mother.
"Just wait it out. It'll get better," her friend said.
"What'd you do to make him cheat on you?" said her coworker.
Getting out of a long-term relationship, going through separation, or initiating/finalizing a divorce are life changes that some deem worse than death. The grief that comes with seeing someone you've loved, given your life to, had children with, or made a commitment or even knowing that they are around in the world can be devastating, especially if you didn't initiate it.
For those who do initiate the break-up or divorce, it can be as equally devastating, simply for the fact that they are grieving the loss of a dream. Most humans who think they will get married don't think, "Yeah, I'm going to get married and maybe it'll work out or maybe it won't." You don't think it will end. You think it's going to be forever.
Remember that grief is a continuing process. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but if you find yourself having difficulty adjusting to where it's impeding your functioning, seeking a therapist may be helpful.
Robin Helget, LSCSW
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” -Viktor Frankl
I’ve spent many hours that likely accumulate to over tens of days thinking about how I could have done something differently or what I will do in that situation next time. These hours are an accumulation of zoning out during the day to spending nights wide awake. Many of these hours were spent thinking, trying to control or trying to change situations that were no way in my control.
I so desperately wanted this situation to be different. Can you relate? DId you want to do everything in your power to change the outcome, to re-open the closed door, to make him stay? Did you spend hours thinking about what you can do only to wind up sleep-deprived and more frustrated? This is often what happens when we try to control situations that are not meant to be controlled- they are meant to just happen.
I wanted it to be different, but it never was.
SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED
One day, I remember being tired. Exhausted, really. Tired of wishing for things to be different. Tired of wanting him to put in more effort, to think differently. Tired of wanting the weight to just fall off. Tired of getting angry over the littlest things. I was tired. I was so tired of my own self-loathing, situation I was currently in, and self-pity that I knew what I had to do. The only question I had was why it took me so long to understand what the solution was. Me.
I couldn’t change the past. I was not doing well at predicting the future and was really anxious the more I thought about it. Then, I knew it would be up to me.
If you’ve felt similar or currently find your headspace somewhere similar, know this: It’s going to be up to you. Many times we can’t change our circumstances, but we can change ourselves. We can change our perspectives. We can learn new skills. We can WANT to learn so that it withholds the values that mean so much to us.
If I don’t? If you don’t decide to change something within yourself and continue to spin your wheels rehashing that same thing over and over in your head with no willingness to do anything about it, then you’re there. You’re going to be stuck there until you decide to do something different. If you wait for someone else or wait for your situation to change, you’re going to be there: waiting...for a very long time.
Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the Holocaust, wrote Man’s Search for Meaning, reflecting on his experience through physical and psychological torture. He couldn’t change his circumstances. He was in the worst place you could imagine, constantly being beaten, bones sticking out of his skin and being forced to walk on bloody and blistered feet. He had no food, little water, and was walked in the sewer of friends he watched die in front of him. He knew he had little power to do something about it, but he did. He changed his perspective in his delirious head. Amongst the horrors in the concentration camp, Frankl actively chose to look for the meaning. He chose to focus on the image and the memories of his family and wife. To relive those experiences in his head. He couldn’t change his circumstances, but he could change what he contributed to his suffering. He decided to not be a participant in it. Instead, he decided to change himself.
Robin Helget, LMSW
Millennial Life Coach
Many of us have done everything we were told by society, peers, or parents to lead a life of happiness. We went to school, got the job, and are making a living, and then we reach a point where we think, "Now what"? Many of my coaching clients ask, "Is this it?", "Is this my purpose in life--to go to work, make money, and sit on my couch dreading going to work in the morning?"
Like you know, this is some's reality, and never think they can go outside the status quo and make a change or are so fearful of stepping outside their comfort zone and starting new, that they are immobile.
Many people, especially Millennials, are not settling for society's standard of "living the dream". We are working to create our own dreams and understand that each person's map, template, or blueprint of life looks differently to create that. Instead of looking to achieve the next pay raise or promotion, we are looking for the littler things in life that are going to create a life of fulfillment. If you want to learn more on this, read A Longing for Meaning.
I recently read a quote that said something like this: what if you woke up today only with the things you thanked The Universe for yesterday? Honestly, when I read this, I thought, "Oh, crap." This really started bothering me. I hadn't thanked The Universe for anything yesterday...or the day before that. And what is this The Universe thing, anyway?
The Universe can be whatever it is that you believe in. God, Jesus, Buddha, Karma, Good Vibes, take your pick. The important part is that you believe in something. This is important because as humans. we need to feel like there is a purpose or meaning for our actions, beliefs, behaviors, and life. We often don't pay attention to anything but the physical world as we know it, however, when you ask yourself "How do I want people to remember me at my funeral?", that puts in a whole new area of reflection.
Obviously, these are big questions and often questions that need some time in reflection in order to answer them fully. Once you've answered these questions, you may have a better look at your purpose, values, or direction. If you need help processing these or identifying a plan to reach these goals, and any additional thoughts, please comment or shoot me an email!
Therapist. Millennial. Social Worker. Dog Mom. Friend. Sister. Empath. INFJ. Lover of ice cream.